The snooze button is an evil, persistent, cruel son-of-a-sailor and it must be stopped.

We set our alarms at night with the grand ambition that a productive morning is just a good night’s sleep away, but that oh-so-tempting crutch waives 9 extra minutes of tossing and turning in front of our droopy eyes and we have no choice but to oblige.

“Just one more snooze.”

I do it almost every morning. I wish I could sit here and tell you that my early morning will power shields me from the allure of the all mighty snooze button, but it doesn’t. I have a thought, though. What if I flood my brain with all of the quick, easy, painless activities I could get done in that 9-minute window? It could give me the boost I need to combat the snooze.

Maybe. Possibly. It’s worth a shot.

Some of these are highly productive, others not so much. Pick a few you think could help stave off Mr. Sandman’s early morning shenanigans and see what turns up.

1 | Eat breakfast.

2 | Stretch.

3 | Read the newspaper.

4 | Meditate.

5 | Take a shower.

6 | Shave your face/head/legs?

7 | Make your bed.

8 | Prepare lunch for the day.

9 | Work out (push ups, sit ups).

10 | Do the dishes that you definitely left in the sink the night before.

11 | Journal/Task list for the day.

12 | Jerk off (metaphorically).

13 | Jerk off (literally).

14 | Make coffee.

15 | Sweep the floor.

16 | Call your mother (you know she’s been up for 3 hours).

17 | Water your plants (not a euphemism).

18 | Doodle a picture (go here for inspiration on-demand).

19 | Do your hair.

20 | Do your beard.

21 | Listen to 2 songs.

22 | Do nothing. Be bored.

23 | Get to work 9 minutes early.

24 | Do 8 minutes of yoga.

25 | Write down 10 things you’re grateful for. Like bacon.

26 | Eat bacon.

27 | Watch the sunrise.

28 | Don’t look at your phone.

29 | Drink a glass of warm lemon water.

30 | Take 30 deep slow breaths.

31 | Brush your teeth and scrape your tongue.

32 | Make a smoothie

33 | Look in the mirror for 30 seconds with your arms in the air like you just scored a touchdown (seriously).

34 | Wake up your partner with a sweet serenade.

35 | Read a chapter of your book.

36 | Run around the block.

37 | Tweet something funny.

38 | Go through your mail. Throw out the junk.

39 | Watch SportsCenter.

40 | Clothe yourself like an adult human being.

I’ll be testing this little life hack over the next few weeks to see how things play out. It might help to remind myself that any sleep I get after my alarm initially goes off only serves to delay the inevitable awakening and makes me feel no less tired than if I would’ve just gotten up in the first place.

Maybe. Possibly. It’s worth a shot.

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Peter Secan

Peter Secan

Peter is an architectural designer, freelance writer, and creator of The Self Aware Man. He wants to use this blog to share his thoughts and experiences, and much of his power is derived from the baldness of his head. He currently freelances for several blogs, including BusyBoo, Easy Render and Games Like Zone.

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