Water: the real “does a body good”-er (sorry, milk). You don’t drink enough. I don’t drink enough. Can we skip the step where we struggle to admit we have a problem and move right on to dealing with it? Thanks.
I’m not a hydrologist or a biologist or any kind of smart ‘ist,’ but I do know a thing or two about common knowledge and common knowledge tells me upping your water intake makes your body better. It lubricates your digestive system (ew), healthifies your skin, and even makes you more productive. I dare science to say it any more succinctly than that.
However, if you’ve ever tried to force yourself to drink more water you know the uphill climb that comes with it. Here are 7 easy ways to make you drink more water. Also known as 7 easy ways to double your trips to the bathroom.
1 | Apps are good (even if they are annoying)
Download any one of a hundred iOS of Android apps that are designed to make you drink more water. Most of them are glorified reminder parties, which end up being more of a nuisance than a crutch. I like Plant Nanny because it successfully ties shame into forcing you to drink your daily fill of the good stuff. If you ignore the apps notifications your adorable little digital plants will wilt and die a dry, powdery death and it’s all your fault. Try sleeping at night with that weighing you down.
2 | Get a big ole jug
Ever been to one of those second-rate movie theaters that have promotions where they’ll fill whatever ridiculous container you bring in with buttery, artery-clogging popcorn? I, no joke, saw a dude in cut off jean shorts and a tank top try and fill up a garbage bad. Scratch that – he didn’t try. He succeeded. And by ‘saw a dude’ I mean it was me. Anyway, do that but with water and keep it close at all times of the day. Spoiler alert: filling a garbage bag with water will prove difficult to consume.
3 | Drink less of everything else
Instead of stuffing your glugger with soda, coffee or beer after a long day of being a human, drink water instead. It will quench your thirst just the same even if it doesn’t taste like future heart palpitations. If you need to church it up a bit add a squeeze of lemon or a sprig of mint. Yeah I said it and I’ll say it again.
Sprig of mint.
4 | Think of all the monies
Water is basically free. At least it is for now until we rape the natural world of available clean water sources and are forced to squeeze a dead camel’s stomach Bear Grills style for any tiny morsel of H2O. Ignoring that doomsday scenario, you’ll save a lot of money by switching out beverages that will hit your wallet as well as your waistline. And when you do that, think about how lucky you are that you have a faucet that magically dispenses a fundamental resource you did almost nothing to deserve or obtain it. So there’s that.
5 | Eat your water
Before you go off trying to consume a glass of water like someone who just got their wisdom teeth pulled, what I mean is start eating fruits and vegetables that are high in water content. Cucumbers. Celery. They named a melon after it for Christ’s sake! Supplement your water intake by eating healthy, water heavy mouth candy.
6 | Hack your life
Once you inevitable delete all your water reminder apps because they drive you crazy and you can’t bring yourself to kill another innocent virtual plant, you’re going to have to up your game to cement your water drinking habits. Fill a few bottles (reused of course) around your apartment and place of work. It’s sort of like Icing yourself but with water in place of the humiliating mixture of Smirnoff Ice and shame. Find it, drink it down and fill it up again.
7 | Don’t make it hard on yourself
It’s just drinking water, right? If you can find a way to not make it such a chore you’ll be well on your way to living up to the 70% water reputation they told us we had in grade school. Go out and get yourself a nice Nalgene and keep it full. Drink water in the gaps of your busy day. Don’t tell people you’re trying to drink more water, just do it. You’ll pee a lot more, but you’ll also feel better.
It’s good for you and it’s free and it’s painless. What more reason do you need?